My Religion Defined In A Sentence by Kolleen Arnold

 

 

 

 

I, Kolleen Arnold, can’t upload this these words, so you have my permission to post on your blog:

My religion defined in a sentence:
November 8, 2008 at 2:49pm

4-13-02

My religion defined in a sentence: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I choose to not believe in God. I simply can not and do not adore or worship a god that allows catastrophes, whether it be a virus, environmental or man-made to happen over and over. It’s calls history, and repeats itself over and over. I choose to be a pragmatic. I look at a situation I look at the facts, possibilities, chances, reality and history at hand.

Why would I worship a God that allow:

Seizures & headaches.
Let a murderer live, but my great-grandmother die in the same week.
Memories so secret I can’t even write them down anywhere except in my mind
Me to raped twice, one almost costs my life, I really has beg for my life.
Me to have eptopic pregnancy after taking took me ten months to achieve and wanted so much. And a husband telling me he has other important stuff worries about besides a lost child.
A husband changes his mind about having children and tells me after I tell him that a new procedure is now affordable.
My tumor.
My stroke.
My tumor returns, and being inoperative.
Me seven years of hell being on an experimental medicine, RU-486, The Abortion Pill, because my tumor inoperable.
Hysterectomy because my uterus had 1 inch instead of microscopic thin, caused by RU-486.

All of these memories of these moments have a photo permanently engraved in my mind. I was 16 when my great-grandmother dies. I was walking through the living room and happened to hear that some governor had decided to stay the execution of a murder. That moment I was pissed at God that fractured my relationship beyond pardon. Yes, I had Jesus Freak stage when I was 15. I even remember the guy, Nathan, who talks through asking Jesus into my heart or soul. By doing I am going to Heaven and forgiven all my sins. I am a good and honest person. Why did deserve all the rehits.

I ask you, if God were my God, I would be mad at Him all the time or ignorance deluxe, so why believe in Him? Several those miracles were people with spirit that doctors did not count on. I happened to be a spirited person. When I was recovering from a stroke, any improvement that I showed people would thank God, and pissed me off. I was working butt off in therapy. I did work out, not God. Where was God when I got the tumor and stroke? I honestly do not understand how people look the other way when catastrophes hits and then thank Him for everything… I choose to be a pragmatic.

Rather being mad at anyone, I use those moments as strength.

PS. I do not have any hard feelings for people that believe in God, as matter of fact I envy them because they have a crutch that I don’t have.